Do You Feel Successful?

Before I found my big break in Internet marketing, I was down in the dumps.

I had just finished my National Service and I had not much of an idea about what I actually wanted to do. All I knew was that I wanted to be IN CONTROL of my time. Because to me ‘time = life’, and I decided never going to cede ownership of that to anyone else (besides the wife, maybe).

After over two years in NS, I decided I had enough of having someone exerting nearly absolute authority over me because of the insignia he carries. So quite logically, chasing a high-paying 9-5 job (or 9-9!) was never on the top of my list. I’d take a lower salary and a RICHER lifestyle any day.

And besides you don’t really need loads of money to do that things you really want to do (unless you love big boats, caviar, and four women with you all the time). And you don’t really need all that stuff, do you?

I realized that what most people are chasing for nowadays is not always money, but time. And today I’m grateful to say I’m in control of mine.

But back to the story…

I just finished my NS, I didn’t think of going back to school, I didn’t want to look for a job, but I had no money (oh shit…). And I dabbled around in many different things and opportunities for one freaking year. With ZERO results.

I guess you could say I was pretty lost during that period and feeling not too successful at all.

Then as you know, I hit upon Internet marketing, played with it, launched a few websites and “Hey!” it actually made money for me. Pretty soon, I was making more money than I had ever made before (ha! which wasn’t too hard actually, since I was making none…) plus I was doing everything from home.

One part of me was deliriously happy with the results that I was getting. But another part of me (it’s the evil twin!) always felt that I could still do more, that I could achieve more, that I could be making even more.

More, more, more!

I remembered I started off with a goal of making $500/month online and I said that if I achieved that, I’d be happy. And I achieved that goal pretty easily.

So then I told myself I now wanted to make $2,000/month online and if I did made that, I’d be successful and happy. And I achieved that too.

Then I wanted to make five grand and I said if I made that amount, I’d be really successful and “yup!” I achieved that as well.

Then I wanted ten grand and I’ve achieved that as well (but not consistently every month though).

But the thing was I didn’t actually feel any more successful with every financial milestone.

Maybe yes, after the initial high of setting a new payday record. But after that, I always found myself asking “Is this all there is?” and I’d go climb the next tallest mountain. Again and again and again.

As you can see, it’s pretty obvious how a trait like this can be very useful in becoming successful. But it can also drive someone mad always chasing the proverbial rainbow’s end. Because it doesn’t exist.

Now don’t get me wrong. I love the paychecks, I love being able to buy my own ice cream and toys with my own money, and I’d rather be unhappy rich than be unhappy poor.

But I also realized I was falling into a trap.

Because the moment I achieved one goal which I thought would ’cause’ me to feel successful, I immediately went off looking for the next one and in that process I was always ‘delaying my success’.

So the moment I made two thousand bucks, I’d feel successful for a few days and then I’ll go planning how to make double that. And in spite of what I’d achieved so far, I’ll tell myself all over again that I’d only be really successful when I hit my new goal.

It’s almost like imagining Bill Gates being depressed because he’s only the 2nd richest man in the world.

And so I realized that I had to stop living in the future.

That whenever you get too caught up in your goals, you are living and placing all your happiness in that future (which technically never exists).

And tomorrow never really comes, does it?

It’s all about balance…

On one hand, you can see how setting goals and striving after them can motivate someone to achieve their life dreams. And on the other, you can also see why it can cause you to feel unhappy even though you’ve done all the things you thought would make you happy.

That’s why you see people who are making tons of money but feel miserable anyway (poor fools…) and there are people who are doing so-so but are the happiest people you’ve ever met. If I’d had a choice, I’d always pick the latter.

But it’s NO EXCUSE for not doing your best to be financially successful.

I cringe whenever I hear financially suicidal people, who are too lazy to step up, saying that money doesn’t buy you happiness, when it’s quite plain that the lack of it is causing their unhappiness. (wake up!)

Besides I don’t believe in a life where you have to choose either or. You can be rich AND supremely happy as well. And be wise enough to know that both do not depend on the other.

So now for me, my next goal is to make five figures consistently every single month.

I could easily feel crummy because I haven’t achieved that yet or I could choose to see that as long as I’m moving toward that milestone, I am being successful already. We all know which one works better.

And if it doesn’t work, oh well… I could always just make even MORE money.