Stupid @#$%^ Customers!
Ok ok, before I start spewing vile and you start think I’m actually a hormonal teenage girl who can’t control my emotions, let me state that I sincerely love my customers. Duh.. They the ones that spend the money on my products, so obviously I treat them like gold like they should be.
But this post, as you can see from the potty-mouth title, is about really stupid customers that make me sooooo mad. So are you ready for the drama?
Ha! About yesterday night, I received an email from Clickbank. Now emails from them are always a good thing (for obvious rea$ons) but this time I got an email that told me I have a CHARGEBACK!
Arghhhhhhh! A chargeback! Come on!
Do you know why I’m so mad?
Because a chargeback basically means the customer goes directly to his bank to dispute a charge. What this means is that this idiot bought my product through his credit card, and then when the charge appeared on his credit card statement, he couldn’t in his slightest mind REMEMBER what the charge was for. And so he goes to his bank to do a chargeback!
I mean come on! Don’t you know what you buy with your credit card!?
And it’s not like I (and Clickbank) haven’t made it clear enough for people to know what the charge is gonna appear like on your statement.
When you make a purchase, Clickbank will explicitly tell you that the charge is gonna appear as CLKBANK*COM on your statement. After payment is made, on the download page I have big ass words reminding people that the charge is gonna appear as CLKBANK*COM on your statement.
What do you need me to do? Blow it up to 72pt font, make it red and highlight it in yellow!? Or should I do a Camtasia video with sexy girls so that I grab your full-blown attention?
I mean don’t you seriously read what’s on the screen?
And if it isn’t bad enough, because it’s a chargeback, I have the sale voided AND I have to pay a bank fee for the chargeback! Arghhhh! I’m cramping in convulsions all over! (must. punch. something….)
I mean if it’s a refund, all that happens is that the customer gets his money back, that’s it. And I’m cool with that. Maybe the product wasn’t for you and you decided you wanted a refund.. ok. I can accept that because the customer has made a conscious decision about making the refund. Refunds are a part of doing business online anyway. We’re bound to have them.
(OK I know that chargebacks (dirty word!) are part and parcel of business as well, but let me rant somemore…)
But a chargeback! Argggh! It means you don’t @#$% remember what you bought at all in the first place. You’re not aware of what you’re doing. Unlike the aware customer who consciously made the decision to refund, you just don’t know what you’re doing!
You can’t remember what CLKBANK*COM stands for, so you think that the charge is a fraudulent naughty nightclub bill and you don’t want your wife to find out, and so you execute a chargeback leaving me with a void sale and a bank fee to pay AND you’re still happily enjoying my product because you still think you paid for it!
Wuuuu! That’s such a low blow….
And the thing is even if the customer realized he made a mistake and repurchased the product out of good faith, I’m still stuck with bank fee. humppph!
Who said doing internet marketing was easy?
Anyway, enough of this. I’m gonna have some sushi so I can be happy again!
Out.
Whoa! That’s a lot of energy there boy.
I know that I’m not qualified to be saying this, since I have not experience this much in online marketing, but you shouldn’t really let this bother you too much.
Of course, saying this is easy for me since I’m out of the equation.
If I’m in a similar situation I probably won’t be talking logic to myself.
On the other hand, regardless of the situation, I think you might want to think very closely about what you just communicated to your readers who have been following your blog regularly. Deliberate or not, the tone set for your post was negative and I don’t feel very empowered after reading it. Underneath this post also happens to be your mygratitude.com posts. Won’t that defeat the purpose of writing about your projects? Sure, the title caught my eye (or maybe not) but really, I guess I would rather not read it. What is my take-home-value from reading a post like this? (aside from the Chargeback thing, of course)
Now, I know I’m gonna be unpopular after this, but as a friend I thought I better warn you about this. Maybe I should just email you privately, but since your blog is all about making mistakes while succeeding on the web, this approach seem fit. I’m still a loyal reader and I hope for the best of success for you. Go make another dent on the world!
By the way, if you choose not to post this, I understand. Just make sure you get the message I’m trying to give here.
I have now learn to look at things from the bright side of every situation. Good posting and Adam, you really can write long article. Are you learning copy writing now?
Thank you.