Get A Load Of This Bozo!

Oh man, you guys have got to see this one!

Who does he think I am? An idiot!?
I’m a Mensan with an IQ so high that next to me, your existence wilts to a sorry attempt at impersonating intelligent life on Earth! (shameless plug + caustic insult…)

Take a look at this email I received from a “customer”:

name: Ishaq Jude

from: ishaqjude@yahoo.co.uk

Hello Adam,

I purchased your ‘Secrets of Self-Made Millionaires’ Program yesterday and
D0wnloaded all items. Unfortunately, I am not able to read the PDF report
“Component #4 Creating Multiple Streams Of Income Online”. I think that file
has been correpted. Also the MP3 Audio “Strategies To Massively Increase Your
Income II” doesn’t work.

I have included my ClickBank purchase receipt with
this mail. Could you please send me the link again to D0wnload those items
again. Or I have to refund this purchase and place the order again ? Please
help me at the earliest.

Ishaq Jude.

And so he attached his so called “receipt”:

From: receipt@clickbank.com
To: ishqajude@yahoo.co.uk

Sent: Tuesday, November 21, 2006 04:23 PM
Subject: ClickBank Receipt #K7N6V3YU - automated notification

>/ This is an automated notification.
> / Replies to this email will bounce.
> / For customer service read message
> / below for instructions.
>
> CLICKBANK PURCHASE RECEIPT# K7N6V3YU
>
> You or a person in your household just made a purchase
> from ClickBank, the internet’s largest seller of ebooks,
> software, and other downloadable products. Your bank
> statement will show a one-time charge by CLKBANK.
>
> The total charge was $97.00 plus $0.00 tax.
>
> If for some reason you did not receive access to the
> product immediately after payment, please try again
> by following this link now:
> http://goto.clickbank.net/goto/?1832d673K7N6V3YU
>
> If you need technical support for your product please
> contact the author of the product directly. To do this
> send a friendly email message to the supplier.
>
> Receipt: K7N6V3YU
>
> Remember, the product author is an expert on the product
> itself, and can give you personalized customer service.
> Please be patient and allow the author two business days
> to respond.
>
> If after two business days the issue remains unresolved,
> ClickBank will be happy to assist you directly. To make
> a customer service inquiry with regard to this purchase
> please visit:
> http://clickbank.com/cs/?1832d673K7N6V3YU
>
> Thanks!
>
> ClickBank Customer Service
> [xxxxxxx/-1] 2006-10-09
>
>
> / This is an automated notification.
> / Replies to this email will bounce.
> / For customer service read message
> / above for instructions.

It all looks very convincing eh?

So when I received this email, I obviously thought at first it was for real and when a customer needs support, I gladly oblige. I gleefully logged on to my admin panel to search for his receipt no. so i could reset his download link.

BUT there was no record of the receipt at all. I was puzzled because so far dlguard has performed flawlessly. It couldn’t have made an error and missed a receipt no. could it?

And so I checked my emails for this receipt no. and none came up. Then I went straight to my clickbank account to search for the receipt and there was NO record whatsoever. Now it started to become really fishy. And I was guessing that this bozo was trying to pull a fast one. (Wait… I think that’s too nice, he’s trying to CHEAT.)

So I took a look at his email again and there were a few glaring errors inside that screamed ‘This Guy Is A Fake!’ immediately.

First off he claimed that he was unable to read the PDF report “Component #4 Creating Multiple Streams Of Income Online”. For those who have bought SSMM already, you would why this is not possible at all. (And I’m not talking file corruption here.)

So that’s one red flag. Next!

I took at look at his “receipt” again and I compared to a genuine Clickbank receipt and I found errors again that screamed “This Guy Is A Fake And Is So Cheap He Won’t Invest In His Financial Education!’ immediately.

Firstly, his “receipt” has no contact details of the vendor which all genuine Clickbank receipts do.

Second, the hyperlinks in his “receipt” are different - http://goto.clickbank.net/goto/ should be http://clickbank.com/goto/.

Thirdly, the line [xxxxxxx/-1] 2006-10-09 should contain a receipt no. and stated like this - [MDH34YT9/xxxxxxx] 2006-10-31.

He also claims he bought SSMM yesterday but his “receipt” is dated 2006-10-09 (yeah right.. yesterday is October). And his “receipt” is missing this chunk of text -

PS: Have you ever compiled or created useful information
that is now just “collecting dust” on your hard drive?
ClickBank is the easy way to sell your digital product:

http://xxxxxxx.goto.hop.clickbank.net/

Hmmmm.. it’s all starting to be clear now. This is guy has been caught for attempted cheating and is a criminal! In fact he’s so dumb to even try to pull this off that I’m gonna throw in another charge as well!

So after examining all the evidence, I as the jury, judge and court pronounce Ishaq Jude GUILTY on one count of attempted cheating and two counts of attempted impersonation of intelligent life on planet Earth (1. for even thinking up a stupid scheme like this and 2. for being dumb enough to use it on a genius).

I hereby sentence you to be spammed a gazillion times by penile-enhancing companies and porn sites for 20 years with no possibility of parole.

Court is adjourned. BAM!

(Stupid #$%^&!)(please spam this cousin of the ameba for me - ishaqjude@yahoo.co.uk)